Today’s Going To Be A Great Day!
By · CommentsToday’s going to be a good day! Do you honestly believe that? I didn’t used to. When you are in a bad place that kind of thought seems very far away. Or kind of like an annoying happy slogan.
At the time, I was staying at home with my kids. Something I knew I always wanted to do! But, I did not realize that I got a lot of my sense of self worth and value from ‘doing’. I had a great corporate job before I stayed at home. Shortly after I quit to be at home I attended a Christmas party that shook my inner world.
My husband had recently started a new job and we were taking to the president of the company. One of the other executives came up to us to join our large circle. He asked me what I did and I told him I stayed at home with our kids. I’ll never forget what happened next. He took a hold of my shoulders and spun me out of the circle and took my place. My husband did not notice what happened, and I was in shock!
Looking back, it probably would not have mattered what I said. He was intent on getting in that circle and wasn’t going to let anything get in his way. But at the time, I felt ‘less than’ in my new stay at home position. I started saying ‘I used to be a marketing brand manager…’ as a way to hold onto some sense of value.
Looking back, I would not change anything. That was the start of my journey towards true joy. Not because of what I did or the money I made or even how good of a mom I was. But joy and a deep sense of self worth just because I am a child of God. God looks at all of us like newborn babies – he loves us just because He made us! I always knew God loved me – but I was very busy trying to prove my worth to Him. Once I stopped thinking that God loved some people more and some people less I could just accept God’s love for me. And flow more of His love out to others.
Ok, the beginning part of my journey was pretty bumpy! My husband might want to make some changes! One of my passions is my kids, and I threw myself into being a great mom. But it was a pretty lonely journey for a while. People told me to ‘take better care of myself’ but I did not have a lot of support around me and frankly at the time just couldn’t see how to make it happen. And I think I felt that if all I had to prove my worth was being a great mom I was really going to do a fabulous job! Inside I had times of being desperately unhappy. Of wondering if this was all there was.
It was really a weird switch when I had lived my life going for my dreams and passions and being told anything was possible and then living a life of a stay at home mom (that I created) where everything was about the kids. I stopped dreaming - and for a while the dreams I did still have seemed very far away.
Through some amazing God orchestrated events I ended up doing a LOT of personal growth. And that has made all the difference in my life. I know if I had reacted to my unhappiness by getting a job or a divorce instead of looking inside my life would be very different today.
It is my passion to share what I have learned with other moms. It’s not about if you stay at home with your kids or you have a corporate job. If something inside of you seems empty, trust that there is hope and that you are on your path towards fulfillment and joy. Take the first step even if you are not sure where it will lead. Blessings and love to you on your journey.
3 Ways To Move Energy & Feel Great Now!
By · CommentsI had a great question from Ester in my last post ‘11 Ways to Feel Great Now’ about the meaning of #10 – Do Some Energy Work. She asked ‘What is Energy Work?‘ A lot of what I talked about in the post could be considered energy work.
What I am talking about specifically in #10 though are things that move energy directly. Moving energy is the focus, it is not an end result of doing something else. There are many different ways to do this – I’ll mention three different ways here.
One way is through prayer and opening yourself to the Holy Spirit. If you are filled with pure peace, pure love and pure joy that is a sure way to feel good! I have short meditation that I do that puts me in a wonderfully open place of receiving. From this place God’s love and joy flows to me and through me!
Another way to move energy directly is to use EFT or tapping. This helps to clear out energy that is negative or holding you back. This creates a vacuum and other energy will come in. Make sure to replace what you are getting rid of with good energy!
You can also ask other people to help you move energy! I am looking forward to a great Thai Yoga massage that opens meridians in the body and gets energy flowing. There are many other hands on modalities (such as acupuncture) that focus on moving energy.
Have you heard ‘If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right?’ Moving energy is not something that people talk about often. But many people see energy. Others feel energy. And still others see the results show up in their lives when they shift their energy around. The techniques are really very easy, it just takes being open to them. If you don’t know how to do these techniques being aware they exist will bring you opportunities. There are teachers all around you!
11 Ways to Feel Great Now!
By · CommentsAre you frustrated? Angry? Sad? The good news is you may be feeling a certain way, but that is not you. That is your emotions. Emotion is energy in motion. The energy in your body is moving in a way that you are labeling a certain way.
Energy is better when its flowing and unconstrained. When its dammed up it can cause all kinds of problems. (Just like water!)
1) Check to see how you are breathing. The first thing I do when I want to change my emotions is change my breathing. Often if you are feeling frustrated or angry or stressed you might have very shallow breathes. Receive a nice deep breath and slowly release it. You might want to visualize receiving Gods love as you inhale and releasing your stress or anger as you exhale.
2) Exercise is a great way to change your emotions. As you exercise your breath moves and changes and great chemicals are released into your blood stream. I’m not an expert on exactly what is happening in the body, but I know that it works!
3) Tune into the people you are around. If you are hanging out alone, do something to get around happy people. If the people you are hanging around with are not happy, take some time to find some new friends. You become like the 5 people that you hang around with the most – so this is important!
4) Meditation is another powerful way to feel great. I use Holosync medition. If you have meditated before but don’t know if you are getting anywhere I highly recommend Holosync. Listening to these meditations takes your mind to the theta state automatically. Meditation creates so many positive health and emotional benefits. Bill Harris of Centerpointe Research will give you a Free CD so you can try it yourself.
5) Do something nice for yourself. You could create a special meal for yourself or take a bit of extra care in getting ready for the day. Whatever might put a spring in your step or a song in your heart – go for it!
6) Do something nice for someone else. Often it helps to focus on someone else if you are in a bit of a funk. Helping out a friend or a stranger gives you a glimpse at the things other people are dealing with and can make your problems seem smaller. Or it can leave you feeling great simply because someone smiles at you!
7) It’s been shown that smiling will make you feel good. So even if you don’t feel you have anything to smile about, smile anyway! Once you start smiling, I wonder what will happen?
Implement your feel good list. You do have a feel good list, don’t you? If you don’t, write down things that make you feel good! Often when we are not feeling great we forget about what supports us or we put it off until things are ‘better.’ Get in that feel good place by doing some of the things that supports you now. It could be listening to a certain musical playlist, petting your dog or cat or taking a walk…can you think of 20 things to put on your list?
9) Change your thoughts! Check in with yourself. Get honest. Get authentic. What story are you telling yourself that is not making you feel good? Take baby steps if that helps. If your belief that is holding you back is that you are overweight, your mind might not believe the thought that you are proud of your body. But perhaps you can start feeling grateful for your body’s ability to walk a mile.
10) Do some energy work. There’s lot of different ways to do this. Tapping or EFT is one way you can do this – either by yourself or with help from someone else.
11) Massage is also a great way to feel better. Especially if the person doing the body work has great energy too!
I hope you enjoy and use the tools in this list. If you have a way of shifting your energy that I haven’t mentioned here, tell me about it! Create yourself a fabulous feel good day!
9 Ways To Be Nice to YOU!
By · CommentsHow well do you treat yourself? Someone once told me that others treat us as well as we treat ourselves. There are times in my life when I have not treated myself very well. And that’s probably when I wanted others to be extra considerate or kind. And maybe they were – but I was not receiving it!
If you are not doing nice things for yourself every day you might want to ask yourself why not. Are you waiting for the future? Are you waiting until you do something or accomplish something to feel worthy of it? Are you giving yourself the excuse of ‘you can’t afford it’? Or the excuse of not having enough time?
God made you. Perfectly. Worthy. Just because you are you. So be nice to yourself. You’ll like it! (And no one is paying any attention to the ‘poor little me’ drama your playing out anyway!)
Tune in and see what makes your heart sing. Everyone ’self honors’ in different ways and it’s always changing. Something that might have been self honoring once may no longer fit the bill anymore.
Some ways to self honor might be going to bed early, eating food that is nutritious and delicious, getting a massage, taking a walk after dinner, taking extra time getting ready for the day, reading a book, going to the bookstore, buying (or making) fresh squeezed lemonade, being early to an appointment…
Yesterday was my birthday. I took a nap and got a massage. My mind was full of all these wonderful things I wanted to do. Too many to fit into one day. At first I thought I would extend my birthday celebration one day. My mind quickly thought ‘How about a week?’ Then I had the brilliant idea to celebrate the whole year! Wow! When I really look at that it seems really exciting. So I’m going for it. I’m going to do at least one thing really nice for myself every day.
Who’s with me?
Top Three List of How To Receive
By · CommentsIf you are like me, you were taught how to give. It is good to give, and I really enjoy it. But I love to receive too! (I wrote an earlier post on this.)
Not too many people talk about the receiving part of the transaction. And most of the talk centers around saying ‘thank you’. Kind of a Miss Manners check the box politeness. Yuck. If you don’t fully receive what is given your thank you’s will not come from the heart.
My Top Three List of How To Receive
1) Start Believing That Everything You Need Is Here NOW.
When you really understand this it will ROCK your world! When you know deep in your heart and with all your being that God has already given you what you need, you will look for it!!!!! And then you will see it!!!
When I was decorating my bookshelves and shifted to ‘Everything I need is here NOW’ I saw new ways to use things. Rocks from a vacation now remind me of how I chose to spend my time (that’s another post.) And instead of just being ‘decoration’ I now have an inspiration that I see every day.
This goes beyond ‘decorating’ to every aspect of your life. What if you knew that everything that you needed was here, right now?
2) Open your heart.
Do you have a heart that mostly flows out because it seems ’safer’? Letting things in might seem riskier. But when you wall off your heart and only flow out you will be depleted.
Some people can feel the wall around their heart. You might even remember when you built it to keep yourself safe. You can practice opening your heart when you are in a safe place. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Think of your heart like a flower and feel it open. Receive Gods love and healing. Be refreshed and renewed to live a joyful abundant life!
3) Wonder About All The Good Things You Will Receive
When you expect to receive good things it doesn’t catch you off guard. Have you ever finished a conversation with someone and walked away before realizing they paid you a compliment? If you are expecting to receive good things you are prepared to enjoy the gifts that people give you. Let that positive energy flow right into your heart. And then you can enjoy them seeing your heart felt thanks. I can’t think of anything more beautiful than two hearts connecting.
There are other ways to receive, but this feels like a good start. Enjoy!
Tapping To Clear The Path To Success
By · CommentsA few days ago I put up a post to help kids (or their parents and teachers) who are feeling anxious about school. I’ve gotten lots of questions about it, and wanted to give you some more information about this part of my coaching.
Clearing What’s in Your Way
I had been through lots of seminars and had achieved a lot of goals I set for myself. But, there were some goals that I set that were not happening. This was really frustrating for me! What goals are you still waiting to achieve? Some people get blocked achieving their ideal weight, reaching a certain financial level, or creating the relationship of their dreams to name a few areas.
I learned that even though I wanted a goal, sometimes I had reasons that were even bigger stopping me and keeping me where I was in my life. Originally, I was not even aware of those hidden thoughts! You can do a few years of personal growth work, and/or get a good coach to help you uncover what thoughts are keeping you ’safe’ in the same place.
Knowing what is in your way is the first step to releasing it. But until you release it – it’s still blocking you! I have learned many different ways to release blocks and it made a HUGE difference in my life. The tool for releasing blocks that I taught in the earlier post is a simple meridian tapping exercise. Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor and Joe Vitale are some of the people who use this tool personally and have taught it to others in their seminars.
This technique was discovered when a therapist was working with someone who had a phobia around water. By tapping under their eye (the stomach meridian) while they were talking about their anxiety they released a fear they had for years.
Many people have used this tapping in different ways and refined the technique to make it easy for people to use. An engineer (Gary Craig) studied different tapping sequences to discover what worked best (so you do not need to know the different meridians and how they work to do the tapping.) Sometimes the energy release happens right away, and other times it takes many sessions of tapping to unravel all the different aspects of the block. It is a different experience for everyone and every issue. Some people actually feel a shift in energy, while others just see the results show up. If you have experienced a big trauma, I recommend that you get professional help and do not tackle that event by yourself.
I have used this tool successfully in many different areas in my life. I love tapping with my children and see them release something easily. I guarantee that you will be hooked on tapping too when one of your children suddenly switches from upset to calm and loving! I love connecting with my kids and allowing them name their anxieties (often hidden) around sports, friends or tests and then step into a place where they can perform at their peak.
In fact, I can think of a tapping that would be great for ME right now. ’Even though I didn’t have a perfect summer with my kids, I’m still a great mom!’
Help Your Kids Start School Right
By · CommentsI am really excited about this post! It is my first video post and my son Nicholas is helping me on the video (Nathan is behind the scenes – if you listen closely you may hear him!)
What kinds of things do you think about when I say ‘Back to School’? For many parents and children, there are mixed feelings.
Some kids are really anxious about the start of school. Are your kids starting a new school or a new class? I put together this short video with my son to help kids with this transition. Often children are nervous about things and they don’t know how to share their feelings. So they try to ignore them. But that doesn’t make them go away.
You can watch this video with your kids and learn something new together. It is a great way to open up a discussion. And if they are really nervous about starting school they might tell you some details about their feelings after they tap along with the video. Then you both can do some tapping on their specific feelings. If you want some help or further insight feel free to contact me.
If they are really nervous, the initial tapping might take them from a 10 (REALLY REALLY NERVOUS) down to a lower number (1 is not nervous at all). If they are still above a 3, you can go through the video again, saying ‘Even though I am still nervous…’ Or if something specific comes up, it is even better to use that instead of the more general phrases I used with Nicholas here.
If you don’t have kids, this video might help YOU to release some anxiety. Or even feelings you buried from when you were in school!
It’s easy – you can do it! Tap along and repeat the words with Nicholas – you might be amazed what blocks you clear! Just listening without tapping and repeating the words might be entertaining, but the chances of clearing anything is pretty remote. Just like in life, you will get out of it what you put into it!
Create Yourself a Fabulous Day!
Cheri Bennett
14 Things That Lead To Failure
By · CommentsWhen you realize that your life isn’t flowing the way you want it to go, what do you do? The ‘text book’ answer is realize you want something different, take time planning the goal and how to get there, and then just get it done.
Life rarely happens that neatly. If it did – there would not be so many books about how to get what you want! This is what I have observed people (myself included!) doing instead….
1) Talking about the goal, but never taking any action.
2) Starting very enthusiastically, and then just stopping in a few days, weeks, months..
3) Denying that the area is a problem and focusing on other things instead.
4) Blaming someone else
5) Thinking that you can’t achieve it so why try
6) Getting ready to start something new by over indulging in what does not serve you
7) Once the ideal plan isn’t followed, going way off the plan and ’starting tomorrow’
Wanting the final goal, but not enjoying the journey getting there (Funny that a smiley is showing up. God must like this one, because I typed an eight – twice!)
9) Letting other people get you off track
10) Not asking for support
11) Not receiving support
12) Not celebrating little successes
13) Not recognizing changes that need to be made
14) Using a ‘golden hammer’ to beat yourself up because you are not (fill in the blank)
15) Not making a plan for things that throw you off track
I have a recent personal experience. I had a great routine that was really serving me of morning meditation and exercise and then working for at least two hours on what was a high priority in my business. I was really humming along for months! The results were great, I was feeling great!
And then my environment changed. School was out – my kids were home. All day, every day. And my routine was left in the dust. It took me two months to realize it! (Note to self, reread this post next May!)
I love having my kids home. I love spending time with them, being spontaneous, bike riding, swimming, having friends over. But I’m a happier Mom when I’m taking care of me. My husband even pointed it out (early in the summer – I know because he just reminded me.)
At the time, I just could not see how I could do it. A plan that would work. And I did not ask for support, or modify ‘what it looked like.’
The positive thing is that when you are off track, God gives you little nudges. And the more off track you get, the bigger the nudges become! So, I finally got the message. I recommitted to myself and what serves me.
I had a short meditation today and a morning swim. It felt GREAT! And I’m going to be emailing a friend the number of pushups and sit ups I do in the morning, and receiving his email. (Which means I will be doing push ups and sit ups in the morning! And so will he! Whooo Hoooo!)
For me with new things having a buddy doing it with me or being accountable in a system makes a world of difference. Because until it becomes a routine (90 days or so) I tend to ‘forget’ and go back to what is comfortable.
I’m also going to be doing some energy work to remove the block that puts my needs so far down the list of what is important. And I am going to celebrate the successes I have had this summer! I have been seeing a chiropractor to help with a neck injury and I am feeling great! I can’t remember the last time I had a headache. And I recently got a new mattress which helps me to feel energized and well rested when I wake up.
So, if you have a goal – go for it! I know you can do it. I’ll be glad to support you!
Celebrate Your Real Life Here!
By · CommentsI’ve been doing some soul searching (and some googling!) that has helped me to clarify my dreams for this sacred space. (No, I did not google ‘dreams’ and ’sacred space’!)
It’s my goal to nurture and start a community here. I want this to be a place where everybody knows your name and celebrates successes together. I do not want this to be a place where you feel like a number. One thing I’ve been gifted with is connecting with people on the heart level. This is all about YOU! I’m learning how to bring that to this blog – so please be patient with me, give me feedback and feel my heart!
I want this to be a place where you can be authentic. A lot of my friends have done a boat load of personal development. (Me included!) But sometimes you might be on the opposite side of sunny or struggling with an area in your life. Everyone experiences that, even Deepok and Oprah! Life is too short not to be authentic!
I’d love this to be a safe haven for you. A touch stone you can use to help you find your way back to your greatness. Back to love, peace, joy, power, enthusiasm….A place of friendship and support. A place of celebration!
I believe in you and your dreams. I will support you in implementing the things that serve you. I don’t know about you, but if I do not have a support system in place things tend to fall away before they become part of a new routine.
If you have done lots of coaching or personal development work or if you are just now starting to think about your life – welcome! I’m glad you are here and part of this community!
Thinking about ‘personal growth’ can become a bit of a mental exercise. The real magic happens when you take it into your life. Here’s something to try right now! Some time today, connect with God and then flow out love. Send out thoughts of ‘What a delightful place this is!’ and ‘These people are wonderful!’ and see what happens. And then come back here and tell us about your experience!
Do You Work For Joy?
By · CommentsDo you strive to live a joyful life? You might if you are like a lot of people. Joy is good – right? Many people would think working to create more of it to be time well spent.
But when I look at the joyful moments of my life – when all is well with the world and my heart is singing – those are moments that just happen. I did not work hard to create them – I was just fully present and open to the simple magic in the moment.
Joy can only be allowed. Joy is like water, when you ’strive’ for it and try to close your fist around it, it seeps out from between your fingers.
Does that mean that you can’t do anything to create a life of joy for yourself? Not at all! What I have found is that contentment is the ultimate launching pad for joy. When I come from a place of being fully present and content with my life, that is often when the magic of joy happens. The mantra ‘I am totally satisfied, I just want more‘ allows me to come from a place of relaxing into joy and being open to whatever may come.
My Mom took two great photographs of me as an adult that I really love. In both of them, I am fully engaged in the moment. Doing something I love – I was enjoying being ‘in joy’! One picture is my first yoga session – I’m doing a beginner’s version of downward dog. And loving it! Yoga has been a part of my life now for over 12 years! The other picture is of me planting an herb garden. Just seeing it I can smell the dirt and the plants. I don’t garden much in my life right now, but at the time I really loved it.
What have you experienced about joy? My intention is that this blog becomes a place where like minded people share their thoughts and experiences. I would love you to be and feel a part of this community. I see my role as someone who is getting a discussion started, but I think the real magic is going to be the authentic and brilliant comments from you. And the powerful questions to get great discussions going! Hit the comment button right below this and tell me about a joyful time in your life. I’m looking forward to reading about it. Thanks for sharing!
